Resilience has long been known to be a crucial trait for both people and organizations who survive and recover from the struggles, both expected and unexpected that life serves up. Being successful or accomplished does not make you resilient. For the purposes of this blog, I will limit the discussion to resilience in people.
For many centuries, resilience was felt to be something that you were born with but didn’t know you had until you were tested. Now it is recognized that resilience can be taught as well as measured. George Vaillant, director of the study of Adult Development at Harvard Medical School, observed that some people become more resilient over the years while others become significantly less resilient, suggesting that resilience is and can be a learned skill that, like other skills, can atrophy when not used regularly.
Diane Coutu noted that in her research on resilience noted that it had three commonalities:
acceptance of reality;
a deep value-based belief that life is meaningful;
the ability to improvise.
She observed that you could recover from whatever life circumstances you encountered with one or two of these traits, but it takes all three to be truly resilient.
In my nearly four decades as a physician, my observation of patients who successfully overcame whatever health challenges they faced was similar to Diane Coutu. When counseling patients, I referred to these qualities as the three A’s. You had to achieve all three to successfully surmount whatever hardship you faced.
Acknowledge: this first step requires awareness as without this you can not admit the problem. Unless you acknowledge that which you face, you can not move on the acceptance.
Accept: acceptance of the problem is harder still but essential if you are to move past anger and disappointment, which are natural reactions to unwanted problems. Resist denial.
Adapt: this is the hardest of the three. You must be flexible enough to reinvent yourself, to find your life’s purpose and meaning again.
There are numerous components to resilience. Learning these skills and practicing them is crucial to attaining your goals-just as you would study for an exam or practice a sport or musical instrument to gain fluid competency. Success is rarely achieved by accident, and lasting success is never accidental.
Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and avoidance of alcohol and tobacco all help improve brain function needed for resilience. Many writers have spent years researching resilience. One of the most pre-eminent is Robert J. Wicks, Ph.D. He is a clinical psychologist and specializes in elucidating the interplay between psychology and spirituality. He noted the importance of mindfulness, gratitude, and happiness to help us become more aware of the good present in our lives and contribute to developing a more positive perspective. This allows us to maintain emotional balance in spite of the stress in the world. He stresses the importance of self-care and self-renewal techniques to manage stress and to live a more meaningful, resilient, and compassionate life.
My father taught me as a child that life is not fair, and there is no point in wasting time or energy trying to change that which can’t be changed. There is no benefit to viewing yourself as a victim when the inevitable hardships of life occur. There will always be tough breaks, someone who is richer, smarter, taller, more athletic, better looking, etcetera. You must play the cards that you are dealt with in life to the best of your ability. He exemplified the words of Confucius: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
In “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Dr. Angela Duckworth, she noted that the successful had a ferocious determination that played out in two ways:
they were unusually resilient and hardworking;
they knew what they wanted.
It was this combination of passion and perseverance that gave them “grit.” She went on to demonstrate that you can train your brain to be resilient when bouncing back from setbacks in life. Her research also demonstrated that being gifted and talented failed to explain achievement. Her research found that effort counts twice. You can learn this skill and this skill can be taught. Her findings echoed what my father taught me “work hard and never quit”.
Consistency over time is critical to accomplishing your life’s goals. This corroborates the findings of George Vaillant in his finding that some people become significantly more resilient over time while others become less resilient. Intentional and deliberate practice is important in building and maintaining resilience throughout life.
Warmly,
Dr. Michael
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